Quite Frankly, F*CK Your Healing

Sunday, January 21, 2018

 I am so, so, utterly exhausted by reading how broken I am. 

Honestly you'd think it was in the blood of this generation. Some moon must have disrupted the cosmos to influence a galaxy where we were all born under the stars of infinite hurt. How many times do articles find me that speak on the countless methods of "healing" myself? And oh! How many poets and writers scribble endless notes on ways to love yourself more, to move past the brokenness, to overcome all the pain, hurt and issues you so obviously harness?

And while I do appreciate a healthy dose of positivity and reflections on overcoming darker periods, I can't help but ask myself each time I read one of these healing pieces ...

 Who decided we were broken?

 Really. Who declared that this generation, my generation, was a cluster of broken men and women masquerading as functional beings? Okay, well let me be fair. I understand where the logic stems from; a lot of us have been disastrously heartbroken, a good amount of us have been dragged through the mud - tricked, bamboozled, led astray by people we thought loved us; many of us have experienced the stinging needle of disappoint or have grieved for the loss of a previous trust. And so many of us have been aimless wanders struggling with depression, indecision, imposter syndrome and ever present waves of anxiety. I get it. We deal with quite a few demons. My question, though ... 

When did we decide those things made us broken?

Honestly. Because they are all quite normal in this life. Disappointment is normal, depression is a side effect of what I like to call alternate brain wiring, being hurt after a broken heart is normal, loneliness, disappointment, sadness and regret from misplaced trust - it is all normal.

I don't say this to lessen the intensity of the feelings, and I don't say this to negate the fact you have to move through them. But why does it automatically equate to being broken? There is this hovering insinuation that to be in a dark phase of life, to be dealing with heavy emotions, means there is something wrong with you that must be fixed, or more so - must be "healed." Somebody you loved messed with your head and abused your trust? Well here's how you need to move on from it! Heartbroken and lonely after the love of your life left you? Well here is why you need to learn to love being alone!

The message is annoyingly clear. If you are experiencing something unpleasant, you need to start working on how to move pass it. Now.

I don't accept it. And while there are deeply rooted issues that we harbor that do require healing, not everything does. Emotions demand to be felt, and just because you are experiencing negative emotions / situations does not mean you're broken. You can be heartbroken and be whole. You can have depression and be whole. You can be disappointed and still be whole. You can be cautious with your trust and still be whole.

We are not a broken generation. Let's stop populating that myth.
But then again that's just how I feel.

Quite frankly.

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